8 months of hell! a story about my bike,fishing,drinking,the cops and the courts on Cape Cod.

Back in June,on the 4th,I got hit with an OUI. It was just like any other day,except for two things.One, it was raining like a mother fucker,and two,the stripers were running.For anyone that don't know what a Striper is it's a fish,a sea bass,but here it's called a striper or as locals call em' ,STRIPAH',and they're a great fight and damn good eating!

My buddy called me up and said that him and another guy were at the canal(Cape Cod canal,MA.)and they were popping of all over the place.Well since it was pouring out I figured that fishing was the plan for the day since the bike was staying in the barn for the day.I headed out picking up the usual supplies,a couple of burgers from Mcy-d's,eighteen pack of PBR's,and a pint of rum.and hit the canal at around noon.It was slamming with fish,all around me people were pulling in keepers.My friend had not been were he was earlier but I set up shop on and out crop of rocks and dug in for a good fight.Not two beers in,BANG,fish on.Dropping my can I nearly when over head first with a monster on the hook.I must have fought that son of a bitch for ten minutes before he got himself of the hook.I swear I saw him giving me the finger as he swam of!Well,not long after I got another hit,and another,and another,till bang,this was the one.It took about fifteen minutes this time but it was worth it.I hauled him up on the rocks,got the hook out and tossed his ass up on the road so he couldn't get back in the water.Measuring in at 38in,not the mother of all fish but surtainly enough for dinner.

As I'm pulling the hook,that the prick had swallowed,I got the call from my friend that he and six other guys were down the street at one of there houses.They had been out since eleven and had pulled five keepers already.There was a scale at the house so I could way it up,and some good knives to fillet it up.I headed over there to find them all playing horse shoes in the rain,a six pack in a piece.That's all the notice I need to partake.We through shoes and cut fish,and oh ya,drank like fish till three in the afternoon.At that time the tide had switched on the canal and we decided to head back down to try it again.From here we just walked down as it was only fifty feet from his house to another spot and face it,we were skunked anyway.About an hour,and another sixer later,we called it as nothing was biting anymore and it was still raining.We headed back to the house to finish of with some more shoes and brews.

It was getting close to four thirty and I had to get going to meet up with my girl.We were heading up to Boston to see a show that she head been dying to see for months.Well being As shit-faced as I was I figured driving might be a bad idea but there was a way out.I had been talking to one of the guys,that showed up later.He wasn't drinking that much and he had mentioned that he had a bike at his house that he was trying to fix but didn't have the tools,room or any idea what he was doing anyway.I had a plan forming.I told him if he gave me a ride to the Bay,where Tracie(my girlfriend)worked,that he could drop me off and use my truck to pick up the bike and get it to my house.My buddy would also fallow him to give him a ride back,and to keep an eye on my truck.Tracie was getting out soon and I could just go with her home to get ready so we could make the show.He could get the bike there in the back of the truck and leave it in the yard so I could check it out later.Deal made we headed to the bay,him driving.We got there about quarter to five and figure we'd wait at the bar behind Tracie's office,good idea,not sure but I had to piss like a race horse and we had to meet up with,let's call him Timmy.I bought,we'll call him Billy,Billy a beer and we sat yapping about the bike for a few minutes.Beers done,Timmy showed up and it was time to go.

Still raining like a mo-fo,billy said he would drop me off at the van,Tracie's,around the corner only about sixty feet away.What the hell,it is pouring.we pull out of the bar and head around the corner,now this corner is a ninety degree turn, has a slight dip,rain water rushing through and is covered in sand.Not the best spot.Now I have a Chevy pick-up short bed with a v-8,not the best traction in inclement weather but still. The truck goes sideways,up the curb and into a bush.OH SHIT!Timmy,still in the lot, runs over and tries to push as Billy throws it into reverse.I got out to help with the pushing to no avail.Tires spinning and not moving we were stuck.It's hooked on the bush and the tires will just spin,this ain't good.Since this isn't a main road and doesn't get much traffic we figure that they should run back and get a chain to pull it out,it is only a short ride. I got my phone and my wallet out of the truck and headed over to Tracie's to get out of the rain,well I only got ten steps or so when the boy's showed up,and not the one's I was waiting on.This doesn't look good,here we go.So this cop comes up to me and has me come over closer to the truck,to make it look like I just got out no doubt.He has me do the standard drunkard testing,four tests to be exact.Count backward from this to this,stand on eon foot,finger to nose,cluck like a chicken.This goes on for ten minutes or so.Wouldn't you know if someone was drunk before ten minutes were up?Anyway he asks me what happened and if it was my truck.I told him it was and before I could explain he cuffed me.GREAT,this is all I need.So he stuffs me in the cruiser and heads over to talk to the other cop that showed up,no doubt to get there stories together about they're latest criminal catch.He comes back to the car and says that they found my keys on the ground next to the front tire,and that I must have put them there after I crashed.

OK.We get to the station and they give me the good cop bad cop trying to get me to confess to my crimes.The Sgt. tells me he wants a breathalyzer taken and I told him that would be fine since I wasn't driving anyway.I take the first test,you need two readings,and it works fine.This is were it goes south,if it ain't south of hell already.On the second try he tells me I'm not doing it right.Wasn't the first time worked OK?So he tells me to do it again,OK.Again he says it was not right and shuts it off.He then slides a piece of paper in front of me that says at
the top "REFUSAL TO TAKE BREATHALIZER".I didn't refuse it if I just took it,right?What a crock of shit this it.I got my call,and had to call Tracie to tell her we were going to miss the show.After that they put me in a cell for an hour to stew.Tracie had been there to bail me out,(thank you babe!)for thirty minutes but they let me sit in the cell for a while.

It turns out that some scumbag that was at the salvation army across the street,he was out back steeling donations to sell at his antique shop in Buzzards Bay,called the cops to report the situation.This fucking rat even told them that he saw ME get out and throw the keys down after.I've been told by a lot of people that he rats on everyone so that the cops will keep an eye on his shop for him,a favor for a favor.The way it is set up is he leaves a lot of stuff(antiques)outside all night since he is to lazy to bring it back in and the cops like to sit thee and watch for speeders,convenient.Well he was going to be the witness,but it turns out that two month after this happened he was told by his doctor that he had terminal cancer on his lungs or some shit and he would make more than six months.My grandmother just died of cancer and it was terrible to watch her suffer everyday for the last year like she did so I wont wish that on anyone,but some people just get what they deserve.Fuck rats!!!

Long story short I've been to court four times and haven't had a licence since that day(nearly eight months).I have my final trial on February tenth and even if I win I may still not get my licence back for three years.I had an oui in 1995.Being thirteen years ago I'm eligible for the first offenders program again which isn't that big of a deal but that's if I lose.After my lawyer go those cops on the stand and made them look like ass-holes and since there isn't a witness anymore I'm sure I won't lose.The problem with this mess is the D.M.V.Aren't they always the problem?There telling me that because this is my second offence,that I'm not convicted of yet,that since I refused the breathalyzer,which I didn't,that it is an automatic THREE year suspension.Although on my first offence I took the breathalyzer and did not refuse.A first offence refusal is one hundred and eighty day's,which I have down and then some but they wont budge.Not a good sign.

I've been told that if I win the judge can get reissue my licence but it's getting close and I'm not sure what will happen.That would be pretty tough to get out and make any money and hell to sit in the garage looking at my bike and not being able to go for a ride!As it is all I can do is fire it up for a ride to the end of the driveway.I know that this is my fault for being dumb,but enough is enough!

Cross your fingers for me!

Michael Painter

13 days left,maybe.